From an early age, I had trouble to adjust to the existence and unattractive propositions that were proposed to me as a human being. Although I couldn’t put it into words, it felt like a grey prison. The way I was wired and my main ways of expression (emotionality and sentience) were highly discouraged and repressed. I lost touch with the divine trying to adapt and survive. Physical symptoms and mental disbalances were numerous on the path, including eating disorders, suicidal tendencies and self-criticism. As I was able to merge with other people’s needs, emotions and feelings, I needed to become aware of the importance to set firm and clear boundaries. I had to learn the rules of the game. Desillusions and lessons were necessary to start to see the world as it is. I would later find much inner liberation in recognizing within myself programming of shame and guilt. Learning to cope with exterior projections and attacks also was a great initiation. I discovered how to shift my own perspective and how to dismantle the mind control we are left growing up around in these times. The principle of the seeker “Know Thy Self” became my guiding light.
I grew up in Belgium in a small town and was programmed by family heritage, the education system, the social and cultural environnement and the music, TV and movie industries. These manipulative methods, that will prepare me as a perfect prey for the world full of predators, were all initiations to work on accessing my inner power. I had to visit the spectrum of the drama triangle victim/saviour/perpetrator and dive deep into myself to find the way out on an everyday basis. I also realize how very disconnected I was from my body, living in my head and not trusting my intuition. While I was growing up, the constant ingestion of distorted outside influences based on lies resulted in self-destructive and fear-based thoughts and reaction patterns. I studied translation and screenwriting, 2 skills that would serve me, 10 years later, for the creation of videos. As a young adult, I contributed to different magazines in the fields of psychology, organic lifestyle, alternative ways of looking at diseases and self development and healing. I trained in different psychological humanistic approaches and opened a practice. Surely though, I was lacking a solid foundation of knowledge about myself and I let those activities behind as my world was slowly collapsing. Travels came and crushed everything opened after years of avoidance of human contact. I had to face the codependent way I was relating to others and had no clue on how to be a Great captain of my boat and how to navigate my life with discernement. I was looping into interpersonnal abusive relationships that were strenghtening my sense of unworthiness and my wounds of non recognizion. My spirital journey accelerated with the psychological decompensation that my mother went through, leading 2 years later to her suicide and confrontations with deeply fragmented personalities, from various degrees of narcissism to borderline psychopathy, including a love-bite relationship (see Eve Lorgen’s work). It was time for my Saturn Returnv to force me to face a big initiation.
My answer was to surrender to dive into my soul’s journey and get on my knee to find a way to communicate with something greater. I made an internal call for answers, to access a wider understanding and to be able to experience something that was out of my reach. The intense suffering of this chapter of my life was equal to the potential of growth. I started to reject all parts, one after the other, of the illusory social conditioning. Those times were brutal but necessary to lift the veil upon my ignorance, my illusions and my naivity. My spiritual immune system was slowly waking up.
This major step, the first steps of a deeper esoteric quest, was the start of a process of reactivation and rememberance. I was starting to remember who I really was and to trust my perceptions: I could perceive when people were lying to themselves and lying to me, most of the time while not being aware of it. I became good at sensing the frequency of distorsion and mind control, recognizing the vibration of it, within people, places, crowd events and collective manifestations, including so-called conscious events or plant-medecine works. This process came with unavoidable massive losses on all levels of life. The system itself was trying to put me back in line and discourage me with different tactics that I was becoming able to identify and work through. Around me, others were not seeing through the different layers of reality that were now starting to be more evident to my perceptions.
I started to look within where the knowledge was waiting to be unlocked. For more than 14 years, I have looked into deprogramming the indirect consequences of MK ultra trauma-based mind control from the culture we are surrounded with, although it’s only in the recent years that I have understood what it was really about. My healing took very early on the detour of the new age spirituality and I had to deprogram a lot around that as well. In front of the realization of the acidity within my body, it became necessary to clean my vessel and my nervous and endocrine systems through cellular detoxification, the mucus free healing system and long fasts. As I am doing the work of self integration and self reclamation, I understand the role of suffering as a teaching function for the evolution of the higher self. My deep longing for truth led me to bigger topics, including mind control and the hyperdimensional realms that are harvesting energy behind the veil. I was able to relate my individual suffering to the collective history of humanity. Weither through conscious or unconscious consent or through omission, we set and perpetuate our own imprisonment as a race. The work I am sharing here is in line with my own evolution. Adapting to this Planet, I made distorted interpretations in order to survive. I am working on these to reclaim my freedom and I am documenting the journey as it goes. This platform is a chance for me to share and connect as I am continuously exploring how to free myself from hypnotic programs and spells, one at the time.